Thinking out loud about being enough and doing what it is we're here to do

Since a very young age, I was told that I should be a writer. It was a compelling idea, but not one I ever put much energy into. Sure, my head was brimming with ideas, but who would want to read them? 

I was given the lesson as a young girl that things are only worth doing for the achievement. It fits, then, that if I couldn't achieve, then why bother doing it? My apathy and listlessness masked a deep seated fear of failure, of being made fun of, but most crucially, a lack of belief in myself. I had never been taught or shown that I was worth championing or encouraging, and so when faced with a project or task, I would achieve for the praise, for the look on other's faces and for the instant of applause. Inevitably, the praise would fade, and I would be left where I started, desperate to seem or appear to be enough so people would love me.

This changes now.

We are here to make a difference, to affect the world around us by simply being ourselves. We don't have to put masks on, or glitter, or a fancy costume at the end of the day. We do that because we want to, but if any part of you is doing that to "make up for" or replace who you actually are, please see the waving red flags that flutter around that belief. 

When we define our value by something that is outside of us, we are setting ourselves up to stay small, hurt and "not enough". That cycle, as vicious as it is, is a shared one by so many other people. This is where codependency comes from, and the definition only changes when we begin to invest in ourselves, not in something that lies outside of us.

A shared human belief is that we, each "I" is not enough. We have these ingrained beliefs of not being enough, or not being worthy. I thus ask you this:

What does "being enough" mean? 

If you are holding yourself in comparison to someone else who has achieved something, please know that you have a choice. By comparing yourself to someone who is better/flashier/smarter/prettier, etc, you are setting yourself up for despair. If you admire someone who holds themselves in a certain way that is attractive or highly polished and say to yourself, I could never be like that, you're actually right. You can't be like that, because that's not you! That's someone else!

So what to do? How on earth can we make better choices?

What if being enough meant showing up with your skills, tricks, emotions, gifts and beautiful self? You may not have been taught that that's being enough because somehow, you're damaged goods. If that is the case, please begin to release the grip of that belief on your body and mind. It's just not true. The only reason that was told to you was because the person telling you had been told the same thing, and keeping people in check is a way of feeling powerful when at our core we feel totally powerless. 

We cannot help other's light shine brighter when we keep ourselves and our light dim. 

So I propose to you a possibility of choice.

WHAT IF:

- you chose to love yourself no matter what

- you paid yourself a compliment when you notice how good looking you are

- you said thank you to yourself every morning upon waking up and every night before going to bed

- you looked in the mirror once a day and said, "You're a badass and I love you."

When we choose love, we change our lives and we change the world.

So I'll be writing more from here on out. It will likely be messy and all over the place, but I'm ready to be okay with that. I can only make progress by actually doing whatever it is that I want to grow, evolve and expand.

All love <3

My 2017 BurlyCon Closing Speech

I was honored to offer the closing speech at this year's BurlyCon. By request, I have posted it here. Comments are welcome and please share with attribution. Please enjoy! 


Hello everyone!

I want to start by acknowledging how each and every one of you showed up this weekend. No matter how you participated, I invite you to take a moment and appreciate everything that you've done and how you contributed to this glorious, glittery juggernaut. You showed up, and that is no small feat. Well done.

I'd love to talk today about two things - truth and completion.

We are living in an unprecedented time of change both collectively and personally. There isn't a single corner of our lives that hasn't been touched by change, and with change comes lots of emotions, adjustments, negotiations and choices of surrender and resistance. There is a powerful tide of truth rising. This is both personal and collective, and I encourage you to ground what I am speaking about into the truth of your own life.

When shadows are exposed, there is darkness certainly, but what dispels it is the presence of light and of truth that allows everything to be seen exactly as it is.

For anyone who is scared of truth and what it forces us to confront and accept, please know there is nothing to be scared of. When we begin to get comfortable with speaking, singing and dancing our truth, we create empowerment anchored in the unwavering presence of love.

With truth comes completion.

When we rise up and say what we are done with, we quicken the dispatch of the oppressive systems that are dependent upon abuses of power and their perpetrators.

By embracing conscious completion, we build the resonance of integrity, resilience, and courage that we and our communities can use to bolster ourselves and each other in times of fear and uncertainty.

Completion clears the slate. Completion allows in the sacred energy of death so that something new can be born in its place. Completion allows us to move on as we let go of what no longer serves us.

Please remember that when something ends, something new always begins, and that you have a say as to what comes in to both nourish and support you.

So what are you ready to be complete with?

Maybe you're done with your old burlesque paradigm as you integrate the new moves, skills and tricks you've learned over this weekend.

Maybe you're done with feeling "small" as you begin to embrace and own how big you  truly can be.

Or maybe you're done with the presence of lack and are ready to accept the deeply nourishing faith that you are more than enough, that you are worthy of love and that you have something truly valuable to offer the world.

If you are asking yourself who the F am I to be telling the truth and stepping into completion and claiming my own light, I ask you who the F aren't you to be doing this?

For those already speaking the truth from your hearts, I see you and support you.

For anyone coming to terms with the messiness and discomfort of truth, I see you and support you.

For those who aren't ready to be complete, I see you and support you.

As we cradle and heal our individual and collective wounds, may we always acknowledge and activate the presence of love so that we may respond instead of reacting.

May we cultivate the willingness to see things clearly so that we affect our own lives and the lives of others with consciousness and love.

May we show up with love no matter what, knowing that when we show up for ourselves, we make it easier for everyone else to show up as well.

May we let go of what is done so that we may fully land in each present moment, loving ourselves fiercely and fully.

I wish each and every one of you a safe trip home. Please take exquisite care of yourself. You're integrating a lot, and I see you and I support you in loving yourself no matter what.

I love you and thank you.
 

Inaugurating this with words

Hello, all!

This is just a quick note to say hello and welcome to my blog! As of right now, it's called exactly that - my blog - but I hope to have a much zippier name soon enough.

Ever since I was little, I have been told to write. Truth be told, I'm not great at the discipline of writing, but when I sit down words simply flow out of me. After my time at BurlyCon (www.burlycon.org for those who aren't familiar), I realized it's time for me to make good on those words by committing them to my screen. 

What will I be talking about? Who knows! Likely whatever I want to, which will range from the spiritual to the vernacular and then some. Only one way to find out, and that's by reading and checking back occasionally!

Wishing you a restful, easy moment, and while you're reading, go ahead and take a nice, deep breath. You deserve it.

With love and so much more to come, 

Rev. Legs xxxx