I've been sitting and percolating on what I want to offer the world, and I find that I am my own worst block. I write, I share and I FEEL, but what am I doing with all of that? Nada. Zip. Zero. That changes today.
My gorgeous cat Jane woke me up at 5am this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. I often have anxiety when I wake up in the morning. As a solo entrepreneur and artist, it all boils down to me, and that sometimes feels really stressful. Missed deadlines, lags in replies and overall not-hitting-the-mark creates agitation in my belly and my heart. It sometimes feels like a baseline in a strange way, as if everything I do has a thread of stress through it. Herein lies my work.
We can only heal/love/do unto others as we heal/love/do unto ourselves. I've been a dancer, healing arts practitioner and advocate for landing firmly in your own heart for over a decade now and I feel harassed by how little I have to show for it. I choose the word harassed because it is a feeling and voice that lives inside of me, undoubtedly informed and programmed by social conditioning that nips at my heels and my gut like a persistent, yappy dog. It is tiring and boring and yet ever-present. So what do I do with this?
There is a quote that I love and use constantly:
Learn in the doing.
I am tired of wallowing and beating myself up for not putting my work out into the universe. I know that I have so much to offer (just as you do), and I'm really tired of feeling jealous or resentful of other folks who are doing exactly that - making their magic happen no matter what.
When Jane woke me up this morning, I felt the low pit of anxiety in my belly and asked myself, what on earth can I do to move this? And this came forth. 30 days of blog posts. As someone who has struggled with consistency and commitment, part of me is like oh lord, something else to fail at. But there's another voice - one of promise and possibility that is quiet and solid like a river-washed stone: smooth, clear and unmoving. So here goes.
Day 1 complete.
Love to you all and let's see what comes!